Anonymous said: My boyfriend and i like to do things that leave marks while were having sex (biting, clawing, ect.) sometimes these marks end up in places that are not hidden such as my neck and shoulders. A coworker approached me yesterday and said that these offended her and that i should cover them up. Im not being inappropriate by talking about my sex life in the office, but should i respect her wishes or is it none of her business?
Well it’s kind of both. It’s absolutely none of her business what you do with your body. BUT walking around with obvious sex marks (hickeys, finger nail marks, etc.) is also kind of inappropriate for the work place.
Why she felt the need to personally talk to you about it, I have no idea. (It’s possible that the markings could be triggering for her if she’s a rape or assault victim, that’s literally the ONLY thing I can think of that would make her comments to you warranted.) That seems weird. I have this super annoying cube mate in my office (she doesn’t even work for my firm but just uses that space) that dresses in a way I find unprofessional and acts even worse (she was crying on the phone about diet pills last week and she listens to this OBNOXIOUS modern jazz music without headphones all the time.) and I find it offensive but I also would never say anything to her directly. I would go to a supervisor and let them know that she was disturbing my ability to work before I would feel the need to say something to her directly.
And while I find her annoying as shit, I haven’t actually called her out to my boss. Because really what she’s doing is annoying not actually wrong and how she acts on the phone is none of my business. I put headphones in and put my head down and pass silent judgement.
If you want to avoid having future conversations like that, just keep a cardigan around to cover up when you’re at work. Or you can just tell her to mind her own business that it’s your body and unless you’re violating a company policy you’d prefer she didn’t police your person.